Immensely Fucking Lucky

As if last post's exhibitionistic invitation to Hettie wasn't enough, here I am again apparently all-in to just destroy everyone reading this with envy. Yes, that invitation turned out as hot or probably hotter than any of you very welcome voyeurs might have imagined, but holy hell, do you know what was even better?

Four other absolute goddesses of my heart waiting with bated breath to hear how it went.

Nobody has this, you know? There are seven of us, and every single member of this bunch adores every other single member with an unfathomable shit-ton of absolute love.

What did I do to deserve it?

Let me tell you, it must have been something really goddamn good, because not only do I have this insanely wonderful life, I actually know to the bottom of my snarky little soul that I do deserve it.

I'm motherfucking amazing -- and I'm even luckier than I am astounding.

Somebody throw me the gob-smackingly biggest parade that's ever been thrown, why don't you?

I'll wave from a float and everything.

What say ...

... we ambush him, you and I? Just the two of us, when he least expects it.

Could be fun, don't you think?

Damn it. I guess I need to blog more often.

So I scrolled down the last couple of posts on this blog trying to figure out what to splatter out into the internet here today, and fuck, was that a mistake. What do you think I found at the third post back? (That's a rhetorical question, but if you desperately want to answer it instead of me just giving you the answer, go ahead and cheat by scrolling back yourself. I'll wait. Are you back? Did you take the lazy-ass route and just wait here for me to do all the work? Either way, let's get on with it.)

Yeah, that photo post. It was right there. Barely even had to nudge the scroller button on the mouse, and suddenly I'm staring at an old me, from fucking forever ago to be honest.

It's actually hard for me to believe it's less than two years since that photoshoot. And having pretty much zero buffer of other posts in between then and now -- I felt kind of slapped in the face by it. Seriously a goddamn shock.

So at the very least, I need to crank out enough posts to push that one off the main page to the next one and keep it from ambushing me again in the future.

Holy hell, I looked good in those pictures, though.

Right?

I have an occasional streak of gleeful sadism.

Our boyfriend had to go off to work this morning (a rarity, since he always works from home), and after a round of very sincere and loving see-you-laters, I added, "We'll just be here having a five-way pussy-eating contest until you get back."

For a second he just stood there blinking, and then his eyebrows kind of furrowed and he said, "But there are six of you."

Now, I could have just admitted to flubbing my words, but fuck me, I wasn't quick-witted enough to casually reply, "Oh, I guess that was just a slip of the tongue." (Damn, I really wish I'd thought of that at the time instead of 12+ hours later while I'm writing this.) But I was quick-witted enough to say, "Mmm-hmm. So I what I could I possibly mean by that?" Which furrowed his eyebrows even more and made me keep going. "Maybe I meant one of us is so much better at eating pussy than the others, it wouldn't be a contest if she joined in. I wonder which one it might be?"

After a minute, he manage to say, "I ... really have to get to work," and left.

And just to really drive home how wicked I was being, the other girls had to hold me back from texting him later and asking, "Do you want to know who won?"

Of course, in the meantime, kind of the joke was on me, because as soon as he was out the door, Ariel said, "It's got to be a five-way contest because one of us has to be the judge, right? Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer!"

Closing confession: there wasn't much avoiding it after that, and before you ask, there wasn't really a winner. It was more one of those "Everybody gets a medal for participation" events.

She goaded me into a delicious wickedness ...

... and so I ran the tip of my tongue up one side of his neck until he shivered and twitched and lost control of his breathing.

I have extraordinary luck in my allotment of lovers.

Once in a Blue Moon ...

Photoshoots have not been a steady hobby of mine for ... well, ever. But the last few years they've been even less frequent, so it was nice, today, to indulge. The blue top is new-ish -- an anniversary present from the photographer. There were a couple of mildly naughtier shots, but I'm too lazy to figure out how to put a single post behind a content warning, so I'll hand those off to Claire for her naughty blog.

Text update: Goddamn it, Claire. Why did you have to go and make that your post title? Now I'm all ... agh ... fluttery. Whatever. I fucking love you too, okay?

Should have just put my whole damn blog behind a content warning.

Mind Games

We're headed for another bout of Dungeon Crawl Classics, apparently. I'm a little skeptical, given that MSG has groused quite a bit about this new "Dying Earth" version of the game, to the point that Claire had to insist we play it so he wouldn't entirely have wasted his money and in case he might turn out to be ridiculously wrong (as happens a moderate amount for someone that smart).

I do like playing.

It's fun getting in someone else's head.

For a change.

I may have over-reacted slightly in that last post

So. Blogger pretty much reinstated Ariel's post within seconds of her re-posting it, and same for a post of Claire's that received even more bizarre treatment (it was flagged even though there was zero adult content in it, just a link to the site where she has a story up, with a very clear warning that the sight is nsfw).

Sorry if I went into histrionics over nothing.

(Still halfway mad, though.)

What the absolute fucking hell?

I'm pretty damned ticked right now, because the oh-so-righteous powers that be decided to pick on one of Ariel's journal entries for having the word "fap" in it. It was in there twice, but that was the only bit of even vaguely naughty language in the whole post. Everything else was just your usual, delightful, Ariel-being-the-sweetest-goddamn-thing-on-the-planet blog post, but I guess someone still thought it needed reporting?

I mean, good for the powers that be for having "community standards" -- I'm not against that at all. But part of having community standards is recognizing that some people's standards are way to strict for the whole community, and I personally think if there's not a hint of graphically described sex or violence, no indication of nasty behavior directed at any person or group, and basically just one slightly naughty word (twice), that really shouldn't be high on anyone's list of things that need to be addressed to make the world a better place.

Pretty sure there's tons of morally repulsive, hateful, bullying political stuff all over some people's blogs that never get socked for "community standards," but for heaven's sake let's not allow a slang word for masturbation to sneak in here.

Anyway, I've got a crap-ton of swearing in this post now, and I'll even throw in a second use of the word "fap" and what the heck, might as well give it a third to say I don't fapping believe this bullshit.

Stay tuned to see if they come after this one.

(Insert Sharp-Tongued Badgering of the Year 2022 Here)

I really seriously thought about giving this post a title like, "Fuck all the way off, 2022."

But I wasn't feeling it.

It's the kind of snarky title you might expect me to write -- or that I might expect me to write ... except that honestly, 2022 hasn't been that bad.

I mean, we live in fucking Texas, so waking up the day after election day to find out we still had the same dickwads for governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general briefly crapped in my cookie dough.

Here in Worthy Acres, though, things have been decently chill. 

And I love snark, but it's got to be truthful, right? Insincere snark ... I mean, what the hell would even be the point of that?

I spent all of 2022 goddamn well basking in the glow of not one or two but six absolutely perfect Yams: my delicious partners in passion and romance, Ariel April Worthy, Claire, the Unexpected Headless Hettie, Akane, Sasha (she's the one to blame for me using the word "Yams" that way), and the only male of the bunch, MSG.

These people.

You just can't tell a year full of them to fuck off.

And I'm watching you, 2023! You'd better not try to ditch out and do a crappier job than this year.

I will come to your house and fuck you up.

I am a BADASS.

I've been doing a lot of showing my sensitive side lately ... with my boyfriend, with my girlfriends ... especially with darling Ariel.

So I thought it was about time to say ...

I fucking rock.

Seriously:

Smoking hot.

Razor sharp or rusty saw on the sarcasm end of things, whichever means of cutting into the situation is required.

Un-goddamn-believable in bed.

Eyes to look into your soul with a blue flame of total captivation.

Let's not even talk about the tits. No, you can go ahead and talk about them. I'll listen. Done yet? I didn't think so. But let's move on.

Completely. Fucking. Deserving. Of. The. Six. Most. Incredible. Partners. In. The. World.

End of post, just because if I keep going on, I know you will all melt into jealous green puddles of goo.

You're welcome for the consideration.