Okay, now don't take this to mean I do anything short of adore Claire. And I'm not saying this post of hers is bad at all. In fact, it's fucking awesome like every goddamn thing she writes.
But would it have killed her to at least mention my contribution to the conversation?
So there we were, in bed, going to sleep (or trying to) and he's tossing and turning and obviously has something on his mind he can't get off of it, so she starts up one of those talks. And she's right -- those talks always work, even if they also always wear off after a while.
But at the start of this one, she's saying stuff, and he's saying stuff, and JFC, the going is SO DAMN SLOW.
I mean, like, dinosaur fossilization level slow.
Slow enough I could not help thinking, Somebody's got to do something here.
And since I was the closest and least-patient somebody around, I rolled in close on my side of him and licked his ear.
Quick, smooth, and wet.
This is like a reset button on him. He squeaks and squirms every time. And then sometimes, like this time, he complains. "Damn it, Elle, we're trying to talk here." But me taking the initiative made Claire finally get a clue, and she leaned in and licked the other one. Squeak and squirm. And then he complained at her, and we went through a couple rounds more of this before he was a quivering mess and she could say, "Now look at me and let me set you straight."
And that's when the talk went the way she wanted it to.
You're welcome, Claire.
But damn, credit where credit is due, okay?
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