(Insert Sharp-Tongued Badgering of the Year 2022 Here)

I really seriously thought about giving this post a title like, "Fuck all the way off, 2022."

But I wasn't feeling it.

It's the kind of snarky title you might expect me to write -- or that I might expect me to write ... except that honestly, 2022 hasn't been that bad.

I mean, we live in fucking Texas, so waking up the day after election day to find out we still had the same dickwads for governor, lieutenant governor, and attorney general briefly crapped in my cookie dough.

Here in Worthy Acres, though, things have been decently chill. 

And I love snark, but it's got to be truthful, right? Insincere snark ... I mean, what the hell would even be the point of that?

I spent all of 2022 goddamn well basking in the glow of not one or two but six absolutely perfect Yams: my delicious partners in passion and romance, Ariel April Worthy, Claire, the Unexpected Headless Hettie, Akane, Sasha (she's the one to blame for me using the word "Yams" that way), and the only male of the bunch, MSG.

These people.

You just can't tell a year full of them to fuck off.

And I'm watching you, 2023! You'd better not try to ditch out and do a crappier job than this year.

I will come to your house and fuck you up.

I am a BADASS.

I've been doing a lot of showing my sensitive side lately ... with my boyfriend, with my girlfriends ... especially with darling Ariel.

So I thought it was about time to say ...

I fucking rock.

Seriously:

Smoking hot.

Razor sharp or rusty saw on the sarcasm end of things, whichever means of cutting into the situation is required.

Un-goddamn-believable in bed.

Eyes to look into your soul with a blue flame of total captivation.

Let's not even talk about the tits. No, you can go ahead and talk about them. I'll listen. Done yet? I didn't think so. But let's move on.

Completely. Fucking. Deserving. Of. The. Six. Most. Incredible. Partners. In. The. World.

End of post, just because if I keep going on, I know you will all melt into jealous green puddles of goo.

You're welcome for the consideration.